How many lives does it take to catch the world's attention?

I went to a benefit today for Haiti. I was quite amazed at the turnout. We are in a time and place where everything that is done is for one's benefit. People say we are selfish creatures in a cruel world, doing what needs to be done to get ahead and stepping on those they are left behind. But in days like this, I can't really see it. People came today, because they wanted to. It was sincerity. No one there was thinking about themselves, for the first time in who knows how long, people were thinking about others. So, how many lives does it take to capture world's attention? How many lives does it take for us to remember?

Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, yet very few cared until the disaster strikes. I'll admit it. The country of Haiti has never crossed my mind before the recent earthquake. When I think about it, my concern for the Haitians right now is probably fueled by my guilt from years of ignorance. The people of Haiti have always suffered. Everyday, people are dying of malnutrition. Yet, I've never really thought about it. Why did it have to take hundred of thousands of lives to get my attention? It's everywhere...on the news, on the internet...the images of death and destruction, of grief and despair. I hear it now, their cry for help. It's loud now, amplified by the press, celebrities, and coffee breaks. But haven't they always cried for help? We've ignored them for as long as possible, until thousands of mothers and fathers shove the bodies of their dead children in our faces, across every living room television, magazine cover and the front page of every newspaper, did we respond.

Perhaps some good can come out of such a catastrophe. The world's eyes are on Haiti now. But the question is, for how long?

Oh yeah, I made this at the benefit. I think this is more Mardi Gras, then Haitian.

You must think I'm a fool.

What are these people thinking? I always get these emails in my spam folder, and I always get a kick out of it. I can't fathom anyone falling for this, like seriously.

"I am very sorry if I may violate your policy....I am Miss Elizabeth Akai, 21 years old and the only daughter of my late parents Dr.and Mrs. Akai Morrison My father was a highly reputable Business Magnate-(a Crude Oil Merchant) in the capital of GABON...i really need your help in transferring the sum of (2.5 million dollars) into a foriegn country...Your share reward & compensation is 30% while 70% for me and my investment, transaction is 100% risky free...please do not turn me down because you are the God's sent that can help me out."

Advice: (1) Proof-read much? (2) Stop insulting my intelligence.

Living

I'm usually quite content just sitting peacefully in my room without a place to be or things to do. But tonight, I remember what it was like to have "fun." Andie and I decided to attend the Bruin Ball hosted by GOC. We were reluctant to go since it was GOC, but it turned out to be quite fun. Rus and Aqsa went as well. By the time we got there, it was 10ish, but time flew back. By the time we left, it was almost 2am. Of course I was tired, but I didn't realize it until the event was over. Between screaming and cheering for the sophmore class and playing ice hockey, the excitement made me feel like I could go on forever. It's been awhile since I was social. For the longest time, I have had a selected few close friends, and I was content with that. I actually prefer it this way. But I forgot what it was like to scream your lungs out with a hundred other people. I forgot was it was to chat and mingle with others, even though you've never seen them before. I forgot how exhilarating playing a competitive sport with others can be. I didn't know I missed it until tonight. I always believed that my body was too lazy to move, but perhaps I've been holding back. It's late, so I'll end this entry with a couple adjectives that are running through my head right now: liberating, exciting, fun, overjoyed, living.

Elated

Happiness. It's amazing how simple words can bring someone so much happiness. How are words on a screen processed in the mind, and through some intricate processes, bring the feeling of joy?

I was just talking with my little brother, Bayu online. He's so cute, now he has a girlfriend! I love ibu, bapak, and Bayu completely. Bapak always says "Thank you for remembering us." He doesn't realize that it's near impossible to forget about them. I don't think they have a full understanding about how much joy their generosity has brought me. I don't think they realize that I can never forget about them. I have a picture of them sitting on my desk right now and wallet size copy of that in my wallet.

"You are the best sister." -Bayu

Yes, those were the words that sent me sky high and smiling until now. It took me awhile to calm down, but I responded, "You are the best sister too." I love that boy to pieces. Sure he's a little rebellious and always carry this "I'm too cool for this world" attitude, but he's such as sweetheart when you get to know him.

I will work hard, so one day soon, I will see these people again. They're physically so far away, but always so close to my heart.

Drowsy

Can I win this? I say "yes!" Positive thinking all the way. I'm on the verge of getting sick. Of course, I'm sure the fact that both my roommates came back sick from winter break had something to do with it. My throat is a bit itchy and I'm tired even more easily. So I've been downing some Vitamin C tablets, orange juice, and medicine.

So recently, I've been talking about someone a lot lately. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the small crush I have ;-) But the thing is, other people are starting to notice. It's kind of embarrassing considering the situation. Even though it's pretty difficult not to think about him, I haven't talked about him all day today. It's dangerous to keep your heart on your sleeve. It makes you vulnerable. Yesterday, mother encouraged me to find a boyfriend before it's too late. She says she doesn't want to wait for me to be 30 to be married. I don't like it when she speaks in that way. I worry enough about the fleeting years. I can't stand it when they talk about that mortality, just thinking about it is enough to drown me in sadness. I'd like to find him too. But is there really someone for everyone? Then why do people die alone?

I Break Things

Hi, I break stuff. Maybe that's how I should introduce myself to others now. My mom asked me how I do it, and I don't know either. In high school, I broke my flip phone in half and used the bottom half for half a year. Now, I'm going to keep a list.

1. Foot Massager (Winter Break 2009/ Stepped on it too hard, i.e. too fat)

2. Rice Cooker (Winter Break 2009/ Set stuff on fire, melted the cooker)

FUBAR

I'm back in L.A. I was hoping to go back early so that I'll have maybe a day and a half of peace -- I was wrong. I suppose great minds think alike. Many people are already back, possibly to avoid the insane traffic tomorrow. My neighbor "Mundane" is back, and already his girlfriend is over there. I really hate her voice, it drives me freakin' insane. Is it possible for people to be whiny 24/7? She could say "hi," and I feel like punching her face. I'm really moody right now. I know people are like to socialize or whatnot, but I'm a homebody. I could find happiness in a place where there was not a soul for a one mile radius for awhile. Other than noise, I'm still bothered about school matters. The peak of my depression is over, I turned it down a notch. I now stand on a plateau of constant unsatisfaction with life. Save me. And save that girl from being shot with a bazooka.

I'm trying to blog more. The other day, Morgan and I were reminiscing about high school. She was talking about the first and only time she received detention and how I was there documenting the extraordinary with my camera phone. But we couldn't quite remember the reason. We think it was because we were late, but Dr. Pacovsky let us go, but Mrs. Beck didn't. But then why was Morgan the only one doing it? We couldn't quite put the pieces together. It saddens me. Life is passing me by so quickly. High school feels like yesterday, but the memories are fleeting. So I've decided to write them down :-) Time is passing too quickly, and it scares me. I want my parents to live forever.